observations...

Poetic nonsense

2011-12-05T20:49:15Z

Was going through some of my older blog posts (2009-2010) for fun. Wow, what a whole lot of emotionally-charged ramblings haha.

I guess now, after 6 months of being a 'freelance musician' and reflecting on the lessons learned along the way, I see the truth in the saying "less is more".

But then, just because I don't write about it doesn't necessarily mean that I feel any different about the things in my life. And boy, some things don't really change much, no matter how hard you try to forget the past.

This time, subtlety is key. As well as patience. Unfortunately, both are in short supply.

Still crazy

2011-12-04T19:33:47Z

Still one of my favourites.

Someone else

2011-10-20T20:40:19Z

Everyone at some point has been told to "Go to school, study hard, enter a good college/university, get a good job, work hard, and one day you'll be rich!"

But how on earth do you become rich, when you spend your whole life working for someone else? At the end of the day, I have a feeling that someone else is going to be much more well-off compared to you.

Wouldn't it be nice to be that someone else. Do you want to work hard for money, or have money work for you?

This (kinda) sucks

2011-09-11T15:38:27Z

Just finished two wedding gigs and a corporate function back-to-back this weekend, and already I feel so deadened and uninspired.

Ironically, I actually made a lot of money. And at least the corporate function had a good buffet spread.

Bah, I get a free buffet lunch every Sunday anyway.

It IS about the money.

2011-09-09T17:59:35Z

I guess what I really want is to have the freedom to play the gigs that I only really want to play, and not to have to do a wedding gig/corporate function ever again in my life. Or sequence/arrange a boring, cheesy minus-one. Or basically doing any music-related job just for the money. It really drains you in the long run. i didn't get into the music industry to end up doing just this.

This could all change, if everything goes according to plan. Ironically, it is something not musically related that I'm counting on to save me from this nonsense. But I believe in this plan. Now all that remains is to see where it takes us all.

Meanwhile...

2011-08-08T11:00:59Z

Wow I just realized I haven't written anything here in awhile. I've been busy moving in to my new place (bye bye Heritage! Even though I miss you slightly), and only just got an internet connection today. I'll probably put up some nice pictures when I'm done.

Working

2011-06-14T17:13:05Z

I'm beginning to think that the three most important things I need to know when getting work offers (demos, arrangements, sequences etc) are:

1. How much are you paying me (duh)

2. When do you need it back? (so I can see exactly how much time I have to procrastinate)

3. Is your deadline final or relative? (because I will almost definitely put it off, unless of course you're offering me some serious money)

***

I realize that it is a risk putting this up on my blog, what with everyone being connected to the internet and employers/clients checking up on their workforce etc etc. Therefore, if there are any potential employers/clients reading this, please chill out and don't take this too seriously. For the record, no matter how last-minute I am I kinda manage to pull it off in the end.

Seriously.

Drop me an email and I'll send you some samples of my work.

(Sneaky way of looking for work)

Keep it moving

2011-06-10T23:49:31Z

So yeah, I finally finished four years of music college last month.

I know I want to blog about it, the whole experience. I also know that now, I feel terribly lazy.

And in between all the late-night Counter-Strike at WCG, late-night sequencing and score-writing (paid) work, late-night suppers after gigs, and late-night movie sessions (Unifi is win! But TM sucks, one more blog post about that), my sleep cycle invariably gets pushed farther and farther back.

What's new, you ask? Well this time, without any major deadlines looming over my head, I can afford to watch, with half-hearted interest, my sleep cycle invariably getting pushed farther and farther back.

The final month

2011-04-28T18:50:00Z

I wonder how much I'll miss all this when I'm done.

Come (this is why I haven't been sleeping for the past 5 weeks)

2011-04-13T18:48:00Z

TRIBUTE TO DISNEY - 15 & 16 April, 8,30pm

Come and support us (ie watch my concert).

Even though my name is not on the poster.

Even if you don't support the institution, at least come and see the fruits of our hard work, and to check out my (hopefully) happening arrangements.

(Just like the upcoming Sarawak elections - don't support the party; support the candidate)

Facebook event here.

I get this feeling a lot.

2011-04-03T13:29:00Z

My Work Is Never Done

Tough choice

2011-03-30T20:37:00Z

The next two weeks will go a long way in deciding whether this is the best or the worst decision I've made in my entire college life.

Noob

2011-03-21T22:47:00Z

Two or three years ago I would probably have said a lot more, but nowadays I just can't be bothered to go to those lengths. All I can say is that I'm graduating at the end of the semester from the college you hate so much, and in my time there I've never failed any subjects or had to repeat any classes. I would talk about my work in the local music industry but as far as I know your views and understanding of the industry are so limited, it would be quite pointless to do so.

And if I supposedly have 'issues', I wonder what that says about people who block you on Facebook, unblock and befriend you for awhile when they need you, then block you again once they're done. Very classy indeed.

Heck, since I've started, I might as well go on a little more. I'm sorry you didn't understand the music we played. Maybe it was your musical upbringing; maybe it's related to your limited understanding of the local industry; or just maybe because all our spontaneity, creativity, and improvisation was a bit too much for your control-freak nature to handle.

The biggest noobs often don't realize the magnitude of their noob-ness.

An afternoon nap

2011-03-20T12:38:00Z

I took a quick nap today after my Hilton gig, and I remember that in my dream I had been invited to play in the orchestra again, but only this time I had to drive down to Bangi every day for rehearsals. Hmm.

I also dreamed that Manchester United defeated Chelsea 18-4 in the Champions League, a match that is only happening sometime next month.

Not sure which dream I enjoyed more.

Nah it's just me

2011-03-18T19:22:00Z

For all we know
This may only be a dream
We come and we go
Like the ripples of a stream

Safe

2011-03-16T18:54:00Z

I've always wondered where I'd be if I were even half as disciplined as many of those who have 'made it'. And not to have a badly screwed up sleep cycle for virtually my whole college life.

I used to think I was a good speaker. Maybe I never was. And then again I used to think I was good at many things, only to find out that 'good' is extremely relative. Perhaps coming to terms with my own ability and making the most of it would be a safer option.

Being safe is boring.

Yes I know this is extremely disjointed. Blame the sleep cycle.

Creativity

2011-02-25T19:08:00Z

I find it slightly strange when I see people feeling the need to tell the whole world how 'creative' they are. I think that, if you were really creative, people would start noticing you and the things you do. After all, which feels better: having to tell everyone you meet that you're an "extremely creative person with lots of creative ideas", or having people come up to you saying "Well done!" or "Good job bro, that was a really creative thing you did there!".

And then, there is this notion that having great ideas all the time qualifies you as a creative person. Well, you may have the most brilliant and creative ideas in the whole world swimming around in your mind, but if in reality you can't even come close to realizing them, then what is the point? Ideas that are only 'creative' in your head aren't creative ideas, they're pretty useless ideas.

Of course it's easy to point fingers and say "so-and-so did not share my vision/was not committed/was not as creative as me" etc, but I feel that if someone was really creative, they would work with whatever resources they had at hand and come up with something beautiful. It is those who can bring out the best in lesser, so-called "un-creative" people who are truly inspired.

Probably the worst thing you could do, I suppose, would be to get overly attached to your own ideas, to the point where you are blind to the advice of others. If we think our ideas are already perfect, then how can we ever improve? It takes balls to be able to admit that maybe our initial idea wasn't as good as we expected to be. To say things like "My event wasn't successful, the crowd turnout was lesser than we expected" or "The client didn't like the music I wrote for his commercial, maybe I should be trying something else". That is the point where we should be listening to feedback from other people, learning from our mistakes, and ultimately coming up with something even better.

What is the point in dressing up mediocrity as success? The former Real Madrid coach and World Cup winner Jorge Valdano said something very interesting a few years ago:

"Football is made up of subjective feeling, of suggestion - and, in that, Anfield (Liverpool's home ground) is unbeatable. Put a shit hanging from a stick in the middle of this passionate, crazy stadium and there are people who will tell you it's a work of art. It's not: it's a shit hanging from a stick."

Likewise, we shouldn't be feeling a need to tell ourselves that our work or ideas are the best in the world just to satisfy our own egos. For me, the most ego-boosting satisfaction comes when someone else tells you that your work or ideas are the best in the world, and you know they aren't just saying it to make you feel good.

Precision

2011-02-22T18:40:00Z

The next few months has got to be meticulously planned out with inch-perfect precision. One mistake, and I become a nervous wreck.

I hate making schedules and having to work along to them. But there is no other way.

It irks me...

2011-02-11T16:20:00Z

that many musicians here rarely tell you what your weaknesses are and what you need to work on. Most of the time it's just "Nice, well done, you're good, that was fun" etc etc etc. And then they never call you for a gig. ~~Or kick you out of the orchestra~~

I'm not in this for fun; I'm trying to build a career as well. But I will keep practicing, and I know one day I will be there, and maybe then I will be in a position where I can choose not to call you for a gig instead.

Postscript 2

2011-01-31T17:27:00Z

I actually took a larger suitcase with me to KL after Christmas as my old one was a bit too small for those week-long camps. Today, I brought it back to Kuching.