I guess it's about time I wrote something substantial here.

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For those of you wondering where I was the whole of last week, I was attending a music camp with the MPYO. I felt really bad for missing the March camp and was really looking forward to meeting up with my old friends. Yes I do have friends outside college. And somehow it was refreshing to be able to see them again, especially after such a long, hectic and eventful semester.

Some people wonder, why am I still hanging around with the orchestra? After all, it's classical music, it doesn't have much to do with what I'm doing now, they don't pay (I get that a lot) etc etc. And people tell me, stick to the saxophone/keys etc, can cari makan, sell your clarinet la you're only playing it for the orchestra (which doesn't pay) anyway.

But how many people actually know what we actually do in the orchestra? How many people know the depth of talent of the members? How many people have seen and heard these musicians, many of them younger than me, actually play such beautiful music together? Sometimes we 'contemporary' musicians are guilty of looking too much at the monetary side of things, especially with the current state of KL's music scene. But have we forgotten why we are musicians in the first place? I wanted to play because I wanted to give my best and share my love of music with others. Whether I am playing classical, jazz, R&B, funk, pop or ICOM Friday Performance it doesn't matter, at the end of the day it is all music.

And seriously, we make too many excuses sometimes. We always hear stories of people going to Berklee and finding it so tough, the people there are so good etc etc. But my friends in the MPYO can get scholarship offers to study at places like Eastman and YST. Some of them have already left to study in the US and are doing really well; a few more of them will be on their way soon. And these are the same friends whom I've played with since the beginning of the orchestra. If there are going places, there must be something wrong if I'm not progressing. Frankly, I'm tired of making excuses, of bitching about how everything is stacked against us, about how ICOM does not give us enough even though we pay so much etc. I'm tired of being average, of being just an acceptable standard and nothing more. I want to be happening. I want to be the best. And I want to reach the level where if I go overseas, I will be sufficiently prepared and ready to take my music to the next level, not just be another Malaysian who went to the US and found it too tough.

And finally, I how many people know how strong the friendships all of us have built in our time together? Sure, we all have our differences and opinions, but over the course of time we have learnt to accept each others' unique personalities and enjoy our time together. MPYO camps have always been a special thing for me, the memory of which I always will keep.



Thanks guys, for helping me find my passion for music again. And even though we take forever to decide where to eat; even though we sometimes forget to wait for each other and walk too far ahead or behind, that all pales in comparison to the wonderful moments we shared. Whether it be playing Mafia until 3am or playing Beethoven the next day at 9am, I will always remember how special it was to be able to do all these things together. Thanks for showing me how true friendships are like. You guys are awesome.

I'm tired of being sad and cynical and pessimistic about life. For the first time in quite a while I was genuinely very happy.
That actually can be a very good thing or just plain sad; let's not go there.

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So much to say, but then again how do you put into words all the awesome experiences we've had?

You don't. You check out the photos on Facebook here, here and here. (Thanks Addie and Lu Ee!)

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And seriously, who has a picnic in the middle of KLCC at 1 in the afternoon??



We do.